Email's Hidden Danger
D's sister, E, discovered the joys of the internet and email one or two years ago. Living in Morgan City, it must have been a godsend to be able to connect with people outside of that awful town.
Unfortunately, E also discovered the FORWARD button on her email software, so D and I were each inundated with forwarded emails from her friends. Hoax virus alerts, religious tracts, feel good sayings and stories, political rants (of a far right wing nature (do you know people out there still hate Bill Clinton and now, by extension, Hillary?)), chain emails... the whole bloody gamut. God help me, I once replied (Reply All, no less) to one political rant by repeating the Republican mantra - "Get over it" - and that unleashed the hounds of southwest Louisiana political extremism on me. Vodka helped me in my recovery from that.
However, to her credit, E does occasionally forward some pretty good jokes, especially jokes that poke fun at Louisiana and Cajuns. So, for your Easter / Passover enjoyment and edification, I give you some Morgan City humor as distributed by E and her FORWARD button.
For your consideration, I offer you...
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the town's name. They argued back & forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr-Gurrrrr Kiiiingggg."
Come on baby, light my fire
T-John and his wife, Emmadell, were out in the yard doing yardwork one day. T-John looked at his wife and said, "Emmadell, you know, I think your butt is as wide as the grill!"
She ignored him.
"No, I think your butt is wider than the grill!"
No comment.
So T-John got a tape measure and measured the width of the grill and then the width of Emmadell's butt.
"It IS wider than the grill, by two inches!"
Silence.
Later that night, when they were in bed, T-John started feeling frisky and cuddled up next to Emmadell and started making his intentions known. Emmadell spoke.
"You don't think I'm gonna fire up this grill just for one little wienie, do you?"
Et maintenant, la piece de resistance
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards house.
Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you
see dat dere baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, den back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, dass my husband; I tole dat coonass he
gonna cut the grass today, come hell or high water."
D's sister, E, discovered the joys of the internet and email one or two years ago. Living in Morgan City, it must have been a godsend to be able to connect with people outside of that awful town.
Unfortunately, E also discovered the FORWARD button on her email software, so D and I were each inundated with forwarded emails from her friends. Hoax virus alerts, religious tracts, feel good sayings and stories, political rants (of a far right wing nature (do you know people out there still hate Bill Clinton and now, by extension, Hillary?)), chain emails... the whole bloody gamut. God help me, I once replied (Reply All, no less) to one political rant by repeating the Republican mantra - "Get over it" - and that unleashed the hounds of southwest Louisiana political extremism on me. Vodka helped me in my recovery from that.
However, to her credit, E does occasionally forward some pretty good jokes, especially jokes that poke fun at Louisiana and Cajuns. So, for your Easter / Passover enjoyment and edification, I give you some Morgan City humor as distributed by E and her FORWARD button.
For your consideration, I offer you...
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the town's name. They argued back & forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr-Gurrrrr Kiiiingggg."
Come on baby, light my fire
T-John and his wife, Emmadell, were out in the yard doing yardwork one day. T-John looked at his wife and said, "Emmadell, you know, I think your butt is as wide as the grill!"
She ignored him.
"No, I think your butt is wider than the grill!"
No comment.
So T-John got a tape measure and measured the width of the grill and then the width of Emmadell's butt.
"It IS wider than the grill, by two inches!"
Silence.
Later that night, when they were in bed, T-John started feeling frisky and cuddled up next to Emmadell and started making his intentions known. Emmadell spoke.
"You don't think I'm gonna fire up this grill just for one little wienie, do you?"
Et maintenant, la piece de resistance
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards house.
Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you
see dat dere baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, den back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, dass my husband; I tole dat coonass he
gonna cut the grass today, come hell or high water."
